Fearful of Offense

Our loved ones are in such a vulnerable situation and they feel it 10x more than we do.   How this manifests is that they are over-the-top fearful of upsetting us, making us mad, or displeasing us.  Our reassurances do little to lift this fear.  Even our encouraging...

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Fingernails

For the first time in her life my mom has beautiful fingernails.  All the vitamins combined with work that doesn't ding them, her nails are long and lovely.  BUT, I'm thinking more and more that it is time to trim them low.  Why?  Because underneath the fingernails a...

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The Last Day of 2019

I remember the beginning of this year.  January.  We had a hospitalization and things were really hard.  Really, really hard.  And I thought, I don't know if there's enough strength to make it through January.  How will we make it the whole year? And here it is.  The...

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Christmas 2019

I'm so happy to be with my loved one.  Another Christmas.  No, everything was not easy and peachy.  In fact, every day is difficult and hard, a mountain to overcome.  But always it is worth it.  Harder I think will be the days without her.   It's something I think of...

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Sometimes things go right

Almost everyday for weeks now I collapse into my bed feeling defeated.  I've gotten impatient, said something not so delicately, or did something with frustration.  And if in town the slightest bit of impatience gets judgmental looks from any passerby.  They have no...

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The Fight for Dignity

Fighting for dignity is a daily fight because the fight comes on so many different levels.  The one that really irks me is the one where my mom is the local zoo animal.  People come to visit who haven't visited in literally decades to see the "woman with dementia." ...

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The ONLY happy place

My loved one reduces to tears pretty quickly over everything and nothing these days.  But when things are bad, there is one thing that snaps her back to her baseline--a car drive. Within 60 seconds of driving she snaps out of whatever psychological state she is in.  I...

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Well-Intentioned Friends

"So hey, what are you doing this weekend?" The question felt like a strange slap in the face.  This is someone, albeit long distance, who knows that I am a caregiver and knows that things are challenging.  But clearly it's not been communicated how very challenging it...

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Entering their World

When we were kids, our mom often entered our world to play make-believe.  And now as adults and a loved one has dementia, the best thing we can do is enter their world.  It's not worth fighting it and telling them their reality isn't true.  Because it very true for...

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The Water Obsession

When I was in one of my medical classes we were taught that those with Alzheimer's Dementia were always attracted to water.  So much so that it was dangerous if there was water around.  If a patient went wandering, it would almost always be toward a...

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Of Baby Dolls and Doggies

Sorry I can't find the youtube video that exactly corresponds to this link, but this is touching.  It's also something we're experiencing with mom a little bit too....

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Update: Sept 11, 2019

Eighteen years ago today I was sitting with my grandmother who had dementia/Alzheimers watching the tv as the towers fell.  She didn't understand and wanted to go outside to see the chickens.  I wanted to stay and watch the events unfold.  Dementia won and we went to...

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Joining their World

  I've wondered sometimes if it is right to enter an imaginary world in order to bring comfort.  As someone once said it is better to move into their world because they more than likely only intermittently come back to your world. And then the thought came to me...

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Tender Moments in Terrified Times

My mom's fear of abandonment is crippling.  She fears going into a nursing home and being separated from her family.  We are doing everything to work towards that not happening. She also only sleeps until 3 am.  Two nights ago out of a dead sleep I heard a mournful...

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A Different Kind of Mother’s Day

Today is Mother's Day.  And if I'm honest the last 5-6 years of caregiving have felt like mother's day.  Perhaps how she felt as a mother to me and my brother. But today is different.  We're not sitting in church, getting flowers, doing very much special things.  We...

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Medical Disclaimer

The Material in this website is not in any way meant to be medical advice. ASK YOUR DOCTOR for any, all and every medical situation and need.

In order to be able to display images I have needed to become an Amazon Affiliate. What this means is that when you purchase through this site, I receive a small commission. 100% of anything I will give to my loved one. I want her to get back what was taken from her through illness.

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