Caregiving is not like what most os us expect.  There are many things that do not go like we had hoped or planned.

Family that we thought would help…don’t, people say the most terrible things if you take care of your loved one at home and not in a nursing facility, people you’ve known your whole do things that you just cannot believe, medical staff may or may not be helpful, marital partners may or may not be supportive, how someone lives, dies and is buried is fought over and more, and then there’s the finances and inheritance and the sale of the house.  I’ve experienced much and I’ve read much that others have experienced that are crazy.

Worse is that if you are an at-home caregiver, there’s a good chance that you are empty on so many levels.  You may be experiencing an exhaustion so far beyond what is visible in your face but is felt deeply in your soul, your finances may be hovering at near possibility, your emotions frazzled, and more.  In better days you may be able to process and respond to others behaviors more reasonable.  This might not be that season.

People don’t get it.  They just don’t.  Your circumstances are unique to you.  And how you thought others would respond is not how they actually respond.

We must practice forgiveness.  I say practice because when you forgive, you have to keep on forgiving.  It’s a process.  I can assure you I am still in process of this myself.  I am struggling myself in this area.

The problem if we don’t forgive is that we become bitter and it just makes it harder to do what we do.  And with caregiving, it is oftentimes an ongoing number of offenses and not a one-time shot.

I admit I’m far away from having arrived.  Some of the situations outside of just caregiving have been so…. I can’t describe.  I have to keep silent about it as I realize people just don’t understand.  I’m still trying to forgive and hope you do a better job at it than I do.

But I do think it is something we need to practice.  What kind of people do we want to be at the end of this season?

Yes, I think relationships change.  Some can continue.  Some cannot.

But let’s work on this.

All of us.