The Calendar Year is Starting to Shift Back
It's 2026 now. When my mom died, my emotional and mental calendar was marked by her passing. The New Year was not the New Year, it was 9 months after my mom died. And March marked a year. Everything revolved around the death of my mom in 2024. But now it is 2026....
I Miss My Mom
I was in another state this past week, one in which we used to live when I was young. I drove by our former home, and the flood of tears came. I wept because I missed her. And tears stung my cheeks as I wish her life had been easier. There was so much pain in this...
It’s Her Birthday Today
Today would be my mom's birthday. Miss you mom. Wish I could celebrate with you. One day soon.
I’ve Changed – Friendships after Caregiving
Having spent 10 years in intensive caregiver mode, I've now come back into the world. One thing I'm notice over the last 1 1/2 years is that I've changed so much. I'm not who I was when I started this journey. What it has looked like is that the friends I had before...
Grief Guilt
Talking with other caregivers has let me know that grief guilt is real. What is grief guilt? It is feeling guilty that you are not grieving as much as you think you should. Many grieve deeply and in sharp ways. But not all grief looks like this. Sometimes grief...
The One Year Mark Has Passed
Just checking in. Sometimes I'm not sure whether to keep this page or not. It really depends on how many swing by. But yes, I just passed the one year mark. The truth is, the first year has been not as hard as I thought. Certainly I miss my mother and have bouts of...
What’s Life Been Like Since
It's hard to say. When my mother passed away it meant an immediate move. And that is a lot. For now it's been moving a lot and not sure where to settle. Mainly because it's something I could never think of as we never knew when she was going to go. I almost feel...
Her Story is Over…Sort of
It's really strange to think about when someone dies. But their life story is over. Everything they did, every word they said, every action they took or didn't take is finished. The book is closed. And there's the realization that the last words have been spoken. ...
She is in Heaven Now
My beautiful, kind, loving mother passed away March 28, 2024. Ten years to the week I came home to take care of her. She really did pass peacefully. No feeding tubes. No troubled breathing. No hospitalization. Just quietly at home in the middle of the night...
Still with Us
It's been a bumpy while. Several times we've been certain it is the end. So much so that family are angry with me for calling them in to say their last good-bye. ?! Anyway, she is still with us. I'm glad for that. There are some things that only take time to get...
Nearing the End. 🙁
After 10 years of LBD I think my mom is nearing the end. Her body has broken out in hives, she isn't eating or drinking, her fever keeps spiking. Please say a prayer for us.
So Ends 2023
In a few hours this year will be over. I thought for sure mom wouldn't make it this year but she has. Barely. She is not well. She is on hospice. And several times even today I checked to make sure she was still going. She is. And she could rally and make it a...
Happy Thanksgiving! (and hello hospice)
I hope you are having a great thanksgiving and enjoying the blessings of the last year. There's always good and bad things in every year. Where will we be in a year from now? Where will you be Thanksgiving 2024? I likely will not be in the same place. Last month we...
[Updated] So I’m Working on Something for the Lewy Lean
There are times where my loved one's lean is so hard I have trouble feeding her. That and it is a choking hazard. So I'm working on a support system. I took an individual sized gatorade bottle and cut off the top part enough to slide it over her wheelchair. Then I...
Take the Picture
It's been over 9 years a caregiver for me and in a few months it will be 10 years of mom struggling with these issues. So where am I at? My computer crashed a couple of weeks ago and it could not be wiped. I was able to get some things off before it crashed which...
This Shirt is Fantastic
I was walking into Walmart when I someone with this on the back of their shirt. I asked her if I could snap a picture and she agreed. It's a shirt from where they work. Great job whoever did this one!
Forgiveness – One of the Most Important Practices of a Caregiver
Caregiving is not like what most os us expect. There are many things that do not go like we had hoped or planned. Family that we thought would help...don't. People say the most terrible things if you take care of your loved one at home and not in a nursing facility....
Tooth Infection
Tooth care is really important with people with dementias. They tend not to take good care of their teeth, caregivers tend to drag their feet with assisting, and tooth and gum infections are rampant. Regular dentist appointments matter. For us that means taking her...
