When was the last time you saw an elderly person being fed by someone in public?  For me, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.  And I think why is that they are either in a nursing home, or people don’t take elderly dependents out in public that need help.  If they are handicapped and this is their life, then yes, you see those ones.  But the elderly?  Dependent even for someone to feed them?  No.

I have this thought and it’s not a strong one come to mind on occasion.  Should I take my loved one to family reunions, restaurants, gatherings, etc… in her current state?  Would she not have wanted that?  Or what does she need now?

For me I have opted for her life to continue as normal.  Because that’s what I believe she needs.  She needs to be around her friends, her family, and doing life such as vacations, going out to eat and more.  It’s not healthy for her to stay home and isolate.  We need each other, even in a dementia state.

Some will say that she has no idea who or what is going on around her.  I completely disagree.  Vehemently.  There’s a connection we have in the spirit just by our nearness.  If covid has taught us anything it is this very truth.  Zoom meetings and social media connections are not enough.  We need to BE together.

So that’s what I do.  It isn’t pretty.  People gawk.  Family, friends and neighbors whisper.  But I’ve also had my share of complete strangers come up and thank me.  One restaurant worker last week said he almost burst out in tears as he could only think of his own mother.

I would like to encourage you.  Don’t keep your loved one home just because they are not in their former glory.  Take them out to eat.  Take them to family gatherings.  Let them be around people.  And life.  And things that matter even if you think they are too beyond it mattering.

Life is to be lived all of one’s days.  Not just until one is not their former self.