Fighting for dignity is a daily fight because the fight comes on so many different levels. The one that really irks me is the one where my mom is the local zoo animal. People come to visit who haven’t visited in literally decades to see the “woman with dementia.” Grrr. Or when we go places where she is known people are seen whispering to one another. Or when we go to a place where she used to be everyone wants to see her to gossip about her. It is really hurtful and I try to protect her from that.
Then there’s even this website. I know some local people read it and because of that, I have to be reserved in what I say. I don’t want to compromise her dignity and feed the zoo syndrome.
And then there’s her own limitations. She wants to do things herself and can’t. But when I help her in things that are necessary, she is hurt and feels like I’m taking her dignity. But if I don’t help her with basic necessities, she will get into serious health issues. So it’s always a wrestling place.
But dignity is worth fighting for. I just wish people were more cognizant of that so I didn’t have to fight so hard to protect her from the disgraces.