It’s 2026 now. When my mom died, my emotional and mental calendar was marked by her passing. The New Year was not the New Year, it was 9 months after my mom died. And March marked a year. Everything revolved around the death of my mom in 2024.
But now it is 2026. For the first time my heart is (almost) starting to reset to a calendar count verses a heaven anniversary of my beautiful mother. It’s not totally there yet, and I don’t even try to change it. Everything is still marked by first year, second year, etc… after mom’s death.
Personally, it has been a very uncomfortable year. Very.
You think when someone passes and your life returns to “normal,” that things will settle. For me, that has not been the case. There has been no “normal” yet, but it is looking possible or 2026. We will see.
They say the 2nd year of someone’s passing is the hardest. And I can agree, but in a different way than anticipated. Yes, tears still come and grief still hits. But it’s more that everything in your life has a connection to them, and they aren’t there. It’s like your anchor is gone.
Truth is, I still feel a little lost.
I sure wish my mom was here. I would have taken care of her the rest of my life is needed, no matter how hard it was. (It was beyond hard).
I miss my mom. I miss the anchor she was in my life.
It’s a new season now.
I’m still trying to find my new way.
