For as many years as I can remember we’ve had one swallow nest that gets populated every single year.  It’s been a point of discussion as to which descendant gets the right of claiming the nest.  But  for over 30 years there has been someone hatching eggs right in our window.  They’ve been a great source of pleasure every summer to watch sometimes up to 4 batches of babies being born.

Recently we had a tornado or a microburst, not sure which, roar through our yard.  No problem.  The nest was built on the storm free side of the house under the eaves.  The swallows were unworried and their nest untouched.

That all changed. After decades of security without rhyme or reason the nest fell apart and everything dropped to the ground.  Perhaps after this many years the foundations were starting to crumble?  We don’t know.  And now the swallows are in deep distress.  They keep flitting to where the nest was at and worrying over it.  But so far they are not rebuilding that we can see.  We are distressed for them.

It makes me think of my situation here.  One day the nest is going to break and fall.  Not from never having lived on my own because I have most of my life (coming home is hard!) but because at the end of the day it’s still mom.  How will I rebuild a life with the one person who has been there all the days of my life?  I grew up in a single parent home.   Will I flit around like the swallows or how will I rebuild?  I think about it often.   I have friends but they are thousands of miles away in the life I built.  How will I carry on emotionally?

In the meantime I’m still working night and day with online business, trying to figure out a way that when the time comes I can transition financially.  I’ve been in ministry and have no savings backup.  I need to find income.

The life of a caregiver is fire.  Perhaps even a redemptive purifying fire but a fire nonetheless.  May God have his way in my heart and life.

UPDATE (Aug 6, 2017) – The swallows did rebuild.  Not the condo like before but a smaller nest.  It still works.  One batch has already been born and flew the coop.