The years have been wild beyond what I ever thought possible.  But mom made it through last night without a hospitalization.   It has been one year that we haven't had another major break and hospitalization.  The first time in YEARS.  So today I thank God.  May there...

It's been a good week in some ways.  We're getting over our sicknesses.  The weather has been nice.  I get a few hours in the morning to work on projects. But then there's the other side. 1) The other day I realized how much anger I have had brewing.  Anger at...

One thing mom and I do a lot when she gets the jitters is to drive.  The vestibular motion of the car helps reduce her anxiety greatly.  She keeps telling me to keep a blog of the things we see and do.  Even if it's just one sentence.  So here it is. Two days ago we...

It's that time of year again - sick season. We were fine until I went to a health conference.  It all ended there.  I came home and a few days later came down sick.  Next my mom.  Then her husband.  It's not been pretty. Thankfully mom is in a much better place that...

It really wasn't an ordinary day.  I was pleading God every night on my knees for 2 years to escape a miserable situation (wasn't caregiving).  The time had finally come.  I had just the previous week signed a contract on a job that would take me far away.  I was...

Mom had to have a cortisone shot lately, that and she took some prescription pain meds.  Not sure what was the original cause but she is seeing things again.  Fearful.  And feels like she doesn't know where she is at during the night.  Scary to think this is trying to...

When the exhaustion is so deep and you're just numb and you know you're numb but you can't remember anything.  And you want to cry all day and all night because you just are so exhausted.  And your heart is literally fluttering because that little physical essential...

Today we went to the surgeon to follow up on the last drama surgery.  Thinking that we might be taking on a new surgery.  Mom has been so bad that I literally packed my "hospital" bag thinking they would have to admit her.  I've been crying all weekend over it as I...

We got the arthrogram done today but didn't hear back results yet.  Tomorrow we have a surgeon's appointment which is a follow up appointment from the last surgery.  I'm bringing the DVD of today's MRI and hoping he has some answers.  Mom is miserable in pain.  🙁

It seems in my mind inevitable that mom will have to have surgery.  She is hurting too bad for anything to be normal.  And for that, I find it almost unbearable.  It means more months of non-weight bearing, more days in hospitals with machines that sound alarms every...

It's time for another MRI.  Mom was up 64 times last night (literally - her husband counted).  She may have a torn piece of tissue called a labrum in her good hip.  Her other leg still isn't bearing weight (the one with 5 surgeries).  So surgery on this one would make...

The question that just causes you to shake your head:   What do you do all day? To a caregiver that needs to be with their loved one 24/7 for safety reasons and has to sit through every episode of Bonanza, MASH and the Middle, only another caregiver would understand....

The last two days have been a bit of an emotional up and down.  Yesterday it was my birthday and for a number of decades mom has always come to my room the very first thing to sing Happy Birthday.  Not today.  Instead it was a clank on my door and a "Where is the...

One of my friends (Justin Torrence) was starring in his first movie last night - The Heart of Man.  So naturally I wanted to go see it and by the way, he did an awesome job!  I was going to go alone as it is so hard for mom to go up the steps.  But at the last minute...

As you've probably read in some of my posts fatigue has been a real issue.  Not just from care giving but in 2014 my adrenal system collapsed.  I've not recovered yet.   The fatigue has been nasty and last week I thought I had the flu.  I just felt miserable.  The...

Today mom and I were remembering or at least seeing how much she remembers of last year.  It was brutal.  She was hallucinating day and night, seeing 2-3 of every person, sundowning "jitters," Lewy lean to the left, this weird incoherent whispering, not sleeping,...