Author: Caregiver in the Raw

Tender Moments in Terrified Times

My mom’s fear of abandonment is crippling.  She fears going into a nursing home and being separated from her family.  We are doing everything to work towards that not happening. She also only sleeps until 3 am.  Two nights ago out of a dead sleep I heard a mournful cry. “Is anybody here?” “Mom,” I said.  “I’m here.” Relief washed over her. She sat on my bed and I rubbed her bac. I was thankful that I could utter those words. Mom.  I’m here....

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A Different Kind of Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day.  And if I’m honest the last 5-6 years of caregiving have felt like mother’s day.  Perhaps how she felt as a mother to me and my brother. But today is different.  We’re not sitting in church, getting flowers, doing very much special things.  We tried to go to church but mom felt she was too exhausted.  And she probably is.  She literally wakes up 50-60 times per night (literally, I counted one night) every night on good nights and 130-140 times on bad nights.  And she just doesn’t wake up.  She wakes up scared, terrified. They tell me to put her on medicine.  But the medicine that is “right for her” causes night terrors.  Do we exacerbate a severe problem? They tell me to put her in a home and get on with my life.  With memory care issues, the MINIMUM is $10k per gotta run…she[‘s crying I’m back. We don’t want to put her in a home.  And even if we did, the minimum is $10k per month.  Minimum.  Who can afford that? People try to offer “solutions.”  It’s exhausting talking to people who have the “solutions” and “have we thought of…”?  Yes, we’ve thought of it.  We’ve tried it.  There’s reasons can’t.  And it’s exhausting telling the long line of people why.  I’m grateful for your concern.  But trust God in us.  More...

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Sasquatch. Seriously.

My mom has enough fears already in her older years.  And then a neighbor tells my mother there are sasquatches in the area.  And formed a team to catch them.  Ugh!!  Don’t say this kind of thing to older people!!!  Or anyone for that...

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Surgery #6

Mom had an unexpected surgery this past weekend.  Just a couple of days in the hospital and then out.   But it’s been rough since then.  General anesthesia is so hard on the older person’s brain. On the other hand there was a sense that we’ve been there before on this.  Five years ago this surgery would have been major for us.  After what we’ve been through the last few years, it felt like a bump. But the nights are still oh so hard.  Mom is awake and moving almost continuously. Already 2019 feels like it’s been a whole year. ...

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Medical Disclaimer

The Material in this website is not in any way meant to be medical advice. ASK YOUR DOCTOR for any, all and every medical situation and need.

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