Month: January 2020

“I Didn’t Do It!!”

Out of the fear of abandonment and fear of doing wrong comes a strong sense of fear of making a mistake.  With this comes the proclamation of “I didn’t do it” for the most obvious things that are loved ones have done.  We don’t argue with them.  Just say “Ok” and deal with the situation.  Try not to accuse.  Give yourself grace when you forget.  But know that this is just part of the journey.  In normal times it wouldn’t be this strong.  But fear in our loved ones runs strong in this season.  They are not their normal...

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Love Protects – 1 Cor 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. —– Most days you protect your loved on in a thousands ways from falling, from harm, from everything.  Then there are those days you really have to protect them from  well-intentioned but boundary-less others.  Those days are the really, really hard...

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Fearful of Offense

Our loved ones are in such a vulnerable situation and they feel it 10x more than we do.   How this manifests is that they are over-the-top fearful of upsetting us, making us mad, or displeasing us.  Our reassurances do little to lift this fear.  Even our encouraging words do not do much, although every one of these kindnesses is needed. But imagine that you are completely helpless and at the mercy of everyone around you.  That is terrifying.  So it’s no wonder there’s so much fear of upsetting you.  And with dementia this fear is deep-seeded, irrational, but very, very...

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Fingernails

For the first time in her life my mom has beautiful fingernails.  All the vitamins combined with work that doesn’t ding them, her nails are long and lovely.  BUT, I’m thinking more and more that it is time to trim them low.  Why?  Because underneath the fingernails a lot of bacteria can gather, especially for older ones who struggle to get them clean.  I could give her a manicure every day so that is an option.  But there’s also the issue of her scratching herself.  Not that she has, but it’s a possibility. It seems so simple as they are just...

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The Last Day of 2019

I remember the beginning of this year.  January.  We had a hospitalization and things were really hard.  Really, really hard.  And I thought, I don’t know if there’s enough strength to make it through January.  How will we make it the whole year? And here it is.  The end. If I had one word for this year it would be a “grind.”  Some days are like that.  So are some years. There have been sacred moments of sweetness with my mother.  We only get this season once and I’m grateful for it.  And for all the times I lost patience,...

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Medical Disclaimer

The Material in this website is not in any way meant to be medical advice. ASK YOUR DOCTOR for any, all and every medical situation and need.

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