Month: December 2017


Mom had to have a cortisone shot lately, that and she took some prescription pain meds.  Not sure what was the original cause but she is seeing things again.  Fearful.  And feels like she doesn’t know where she is at during the night.  Scary to think this is trying to come back.  Will fight it. Am torn also.  With the business I want to get it going to I can manage these times financially.  But also want to spend all the time with mom. ...

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Sacrifice is Giving up Something You Love for Something you Love More

When the exhaustion is so deep and you’re just numb and you know you’re numb but you can’t remember anything.  And you want to cry all day and all night because you just are so exhausted.  And your heart is literally fluttering because that little physical essential is having issues with all the stress.  And you don’t know how long you can keep doing this but you wonder what are the options.  And you feel the sacrifice of love.   It’s...

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Dodged a Bullet

Today we went to the surgeon to follow up on the last drama surgery.  Thinking that we might be taking on a new surgery.  Mom has been so bad that I literally packed my “hospital” bag thinking they would have to admit her.  I’ve been crying all weekend over it as I just don’t think I have the strength for another hospitalization. Mom had peace about it today.  For me I was stressed, cranky and nervous. But wonder of all wonders, what we thought was a labrum tear or avulsion is just severe bursitis.  Hallelujah.  So now I can...

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So Much Pain

We got the arthrogram done today but didn’t hear back results yet.  Tomorrow we have a surgeon’s appointment which is a follow up appointment from the last surgery.  I’m bringing the DVD of today’s MRI and hoping he has some answers.  Mom is miserable in pain. ...

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A Hard Day

It seems in my mind inevitable that mom will have to have surgery.  She is hurting too bad for anything to be normal.  And for that, I find it almost unbearable.  It means more months of non-weight bearing, more days in hospitals with machines that sound alarms every hour and nurses who don’t turn them off, more trying to figure out how to transfer mom (she is quite heavy).  It’s just a lot.  And today it was hard.  I’m so tired.  In March it will be five years of back to back medical crisis.  I am praying God’s...

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